Saturday, 28 April 2012

Heaven On A Saturday Afternoon

My second “H” post for the Pagan Blog Project was always going to be an interesting take on things. It was nearly hieroglyphics, halos, homosex and sex magick, heka . . . but today it dawned on me as I was rearranging my studio to erect my easel and start a new painting that I was feeling like I was in heaven: I have come to a place where occasionally I can make heaven moments. Moments of magick where it feels as potent as if I were at my altar or at shrine, meditating or doing a Senut.

Creating the space this afternoon to begin another magickal painting was just that.

Saturday, 21 April 2012


I do not consider myself an entirely happy person. I do not wander through my life with a grin on my face. I have set about finding out why, and this is the thrust behind this post.

I believe that happiness is pivotal to spiritual success and practices. Yet it is something that has not always been present in my life, and often I have struggled to find joy in my life and with myself. Lazaris says that the reason we are here (as in born on this earth) is to have fun. I never doubted this from the moment that I heard it.

Another channelled entity that I used to listen to a lot is Bashar, and his thing was that if it excites you, it’s your thing and you need to pursue it.

Fortunately the things that excite me are not criminal or illegal, but somehow I have talked myself into either not pursuing them or letting them slip out of reach. I believe that this is in part due to having being brought up a Catholic (which I have denounced years ago). Abject happiness in not high on the Catholic agenda I assure you, and I am certain that this has influenced me to a large degree.

If happiness is a high frequency – and I don’t think that too may people would argue to the contrary – I have often questioned why it is seemingly elusive. There have been times in my life when I have felt that it was forbidden.

I think that to be human is to enjoy a full spectrum of emotions and feelings (and yes I think there is a difference between the two). And yet even as I become more conscious of the things that I am grateful for in my life (of which there is an abundance) and how I react to things in life as a choice (as opposed to a reaction), happiness still seems elusive.

As I immerse myself deeper in my spiritual practices I experience more joy and contentment. My deeply analytical mind however wanders elsewhere. It has to be said that my thinking leads me from away happiness. Are the neural pathways that have been formed throughout my life so deep that moving away from them is challenging? Out of habit, do I allow my thoughts to stray away from what makes me happy?

The Ancient Egyptians spoke of the intelligence of the heart; is true intelligence when this is where your “thinking” comes from and is centred in, instead of from, your head?

Taken early 2009 as my plane left San Francisco heading home; I was truly happy then

Friday, 13 April 2012

Gnosis (and sacred purpose)

“I love that wonderful picture of the statue of Set. Magnificent! Do you feel particularly drawn to Set and if so, what draws you?”

The above was asked of me in an email written me recently from one of my teachers, whom I had just provided with the link to this blog. I had been deliberating over the reply, and I guess it has eventuated in this post.

Set and the Egyptian Pantheon represent to me the closest expressions of “god” that resonate with my frequency. My “soul”. My being.

I mentioned in a post earlier this year :

When trying to articulate the absolute I reference Netjer. That I know of the existence of Netjer is a better statement for me in contrast to saying that I believe that Netjer exists.

I mentioned in that post that I didn’t want to go into the mechanics of the “knowing" that I referred to at the time - this current post serves that purpose.

Gnosis is defined by Wikipedia  as “spiritual knowledge”,  and best summed up: “Gnosis itself is and was obtained through understanding at which one can arrive via inner experience or contemplation such as an internal epiphany for example”

Many years ago when I was studying as an actor, I remember having a heated discussion with a self-professed atheist.

He was convinced that there was “nothing” beyond the physical reality of what our 5 senses revealed. (I steer away from “debates” like this now and prefer to interact with those on a similar wavelength of understanding to mine  – otherwise it is like arguing with a blind man about the nature of color and whether it exists or not).

The point I kept returning to in that discussion was this: Who / What breathes us? Why are we animated with life and from whence does that Source come? In my mind, the fact of our very existence presupposed a Divine Presence of some sort, and at the time I was tearing apart every metaphysical and theosophical book that I could get my hands on to find out What!!

That I know is one thing, and my “Kemetic practice” is a continued exploration and deepening of that knowledge and understanding. But then I came across this guy whose life goal is to meet the gods in person. And that got me to thinking, “why don’t I have the same goal?” I wondered then, just how deep my gnosis really is, and if in this light, it might need to be redefined as faith, which I balk against.

Why don’t I seek to meet the Netjeru "in person" also? I do believe that They could manifest as Their images in flesh bodies if They wanted to, but the fact that They do not means something also. I could go into how They can be found in nature, in every person you meet etcetera but that is not, I suspect, what Mr. Rogue Priest is after either.

Perhaps we can only know and understand so much when it comes to the Divine? Like if we stare at the sun too long, we burn our retina. Ra reveals Himself at a distance and with Great Presence but will not allow complete and direct contact like that.

The theatre of our lives depends on a large degree our not being aware of the fourth wall and the mechanics of the backstage technicians. But exploring the sacred indeed does mean a peeping behind the curtain either for confirmation or pure curiosity satiation. I think learning this information comes at a price.

To answer the very original question at the beginning of this post: yes, I am drawn to Set but as yet can not say exactly why. Why He has taken place at head of my personal approach to deity I am only beginning to suspect, and I think that that has something to do with why Ra chose Him to man the prow of the Divine Barque: because he is the only One strong enough for the task.

The knowledge I possess is finding its way into the world now through my paintings, music (I am half of an electronic duo), and my writing. Every step further into these artistic realms brings me closer to Netjer, and closer to my Sacred Purpose.

This post represents my second “G” submission for The Pagan Blog Project.

The very first manifestations of the Sweet Goddess Of Truth on my easel, Lady Maat

Saturday, 7 April 2012


This post is about a recent practice that I have begun.

Every morning and every evening (theoretically) I write on a piece of notepaper what I am grateful for. Most days it is grand, universal and epic stuff, and others I write about smaller, personal things unique to me.

The practice has a twofold effect: it makes me stop and think about all the things I take for granted and really feel appreciation for them, and it also helps to raise my frequency to a higher vibe where I am appreciating and loving, more than, well, bitchin’ and hatin’.

I could get all the paper notes that contain each gratitude offering off of the Plinth where I currently rest them and tell you all the things that I am grateful for; but I would rather that you think about all the things that you are grateful for in your own life, and how gratitude might affect your devotional or magickal (or both) practices.

This post is my first “G” submission for the Pagan Blog Project.